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Saturday, November 22, 2008

A Difficult Death

Caryl's brother-in-law was in a Hospice facility in a town about two hours drive from Safety Harbor, I'll call him Mike. Mike had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and as the end approached it appeared that it could be one of those long, slow processes. Then, while in Hospice Mike had a stroke and his transition looked to be approaching fast. Family members arrived, including Caryl, to support Mike in his transition and each other.

Caryl is what is called an Eleventh Hour hospice volunteer and in that role she has attended a number of deaths. As a psychic she is well suited to the role of assisting those in the process of dying. Her phone call came early in the morning, while I was still asleep, so Pharon woke me with the message. Things were not going well.

Often, once a dying person is no longer conscious they seem to relax into a calm, slow breathing pattern. Over time the breath gets progressively shallower until there is barely any discernible breathing. Sometimes there will short periods of a gasping pattern, then slow breathing that just gradually stops. But, for more than six hours before she called me Mike had been yelling and thrashing, seemingly having a very difficult time getting out of his no longer usable body for the last time. Caryl described it as the worse death she had ever witnessed. Caryl's message to me ask me to see if there was anything I could do to relieve Mike's suffering. After Pharon gave me that message I immediately laid back down, closed my eyes and placed intent to contact Mike and observe the situation.

In the blackness, in barely discernible fuzzy black and white imagery I sensed Caryl off to my left. I felt more than saw that she was standing, facing the side of a bed about six feet away, and that the person in the bed had his head to her left. I also sensed a tall, broad-shouldered, muscular male, standing off to her right. He seemed to be focusing his attention on the person in the bed, who I assumed to be Mike. The tall male seemed to be waiting for something to happen.

I could feel the emotional energies, people's feelings, in the room and everything felt calm and supportive. Mike appeared to be resting comfortably and calm. Then suddenly the feeling in the room shifted to fear and horror, and Mike started groaning and moving, then yelling and thrashing in the bed. Everyone in the room reacted to this with feelings that were a mix of horror, sadness, fear and helplessness. I immediately called on every nonphysical friend I have who is good at sending Love. Many were immediately there and I felt them open channels of Love energy and it began pouring into the room. I felt some of it begin flowing through me and I beamed it all directly at Mike. This went on for quite a while. The fear and horror felt by those physically in the room began to subside. In a little while Mike began to calm down and relax, then he was resting quietly again. I observed two more of these horror cycles and during the last one I suddenly became aware of Carolene, standing on me right. I realized Caryl had problem phone her too with the same request.

I had the feeling Carolene had arrived before I did and had been observing the situation for a bit longer than I had. We talked about what we had both observed since our arrivals and both agreed that the problem was with the people surrounding Mike in the room. Some were in such a state of terror over Mike's death and his dying process that they were blasting Mike and everyone else in the room with those feelings. Some of them were having strong, difficult feelings that they were physical vocalizing. That got everyone else, especially Mike, stirred up and a near frenzy. As she was leaving the scene Carolene remarked that until those people settled down or left the scene there wasn't much we could do. I hung around a bit longer, but my assessment was the same as Carolene's, and so I did what I could to imagine and add to the thick, white, cotton-candy-like-cocoon of light already surrounding Mike. Then I left.

After getting up and dressed I came out to the living room and shared the experience with Pharon. Then, as I stood up, feeling a little helpless to have unable to intervene in the cycle Mike was trapped in, I heard someone say in my thoughts Now all we can to is cocoon him to protect him from strong outside influences. I was heading for my computer to check email. Within a couple of minutes after I sat down the phone rang. It was Caryl letting me know that Mike had just left.

Days later when I spoke with Caryl she explained that some people had been having a very difficult time with the fact that Mike was dying. Some sort of unfinished business they would feel powerless to complete, perhaps, after his death. Mike's dying process would be proceeding calmly, he would settle into the progressively shallower breathing pattern, and one of those people would lose it. They were wailing and crying imploring Mike not to die and all the agitation on their part would rile him, dragging him back and leading to his thrashing and yelling. Once that person was spent and calmed down or left the room Mike would slowly begin to calm down and relax. But then at some point before Mike could leave another one of those people would start in with their emotionally charged displays and drag Mike back. It was an awful experience for Mike. Hopefully it is a lesson to us.

Get things right and keep things right with those who are in our lives. Try to minimize the list of important unfinished business with others. And if you find yourself attending the death of someone you didn't do that with, have the decency and respect for that person's dying process to not to loudly, vocally interfere as that person is in the last stages of living. There is a time and a place for clearing up such things and those final moments are neither the time nor the place.


Posted by Bruce Moen at 2:11 PM