Wrote this up two weeks ago but didn't post it here for some reason. Jeff's asking about the process of retrieval last week (I'm catching up on the posts..!) reminded me that I should probably post my experiences for the benefit of other beginners, non-earth-shattering as they may be.
This is my second retrieval exercise.
2002.01.16 Wednesday, 16:15 - 16:35.
The second retrieval exercise on Bruce's workshop tape set, tapes 8b-9a. This time I didn't do any NEW energy work beforehand - I just started the tape and jumped in.
First the standard energy gathering stuff (3x3x3), interesting guided imagery of walking through a park -- getting things rolling with deliberate imaginings like this is a good idea, I think. Feels right.
At the beginning when I asked for a helper, I got no clear impressions unlike last time. I didnft know whether to wait around till I perceived something or not, but eventually I just went with imagination. I optimistically assumed a helper was there, said hi to nothing in particular, and left with him.
No immediate visuals of the retrievee either. A couple of unclear abstract feeling/images came at first, but I couldnft put them into clear thoughts, much less words. Then I got a vague image of somebody inserted into something. Some feet sticking out of a pipe.
Slowly I got an image of somebody whofd crawled into a drainage pipe, like you might find crossing under a rural road. Impression of following an animal or pet into it, then getting stuck. The impression of an isolated area; I figured there would have been no-one around to hear if hefd called out.
Asked for a year, and at first got 1957, and when I asked for confirmation it changed to 1927.
Asked for hobbies, or something that could be used for verification, and got an image of a frog jumping - possibly a reference to playing leapfrog, but more likely that he liked chasing frogs. Was starting to get a feel that this was a child. Up to this point Ifd assumed that he was an adult. (I never got a particular feel for one sex or the other, but based on the hobby Ifll arbitrarily assume a ghe.h)
Asked the (still not visible) helper now how this person got stuck, and got a different impression: that he'd been assaulted in some manner, and perhaps put here in the pipe (after being killed?). Don't know the reason for the difference in the image compared to what the child had said.
Then the helper showed up, taking the form of a burly workman in blue overalls with a bushy mustache (not a 1950s look, more an early turn of the century immigrant-worker image), and I pointed out to the child that help was finally here. At this point I tried sending him some PUL, though I'm not particularly good at even feeling it myself, yet. Together (?) we opened up the pipe by just peeling the metal open like it had a seam in the top. The child stood up, and immediately grabbed onto the helper, who picked him up and held him tightly.
I followed as the helper started walking away. He walked very slowly and very deliberately up a sloping path (the way he was walking was convenient for giving me something to practice focusing upon, if nothing else), and upon cresting the hill continued walking down to an area where I got the impression of gsomethingh being there, some complexity that I wasnft perceiving clearly. After a bit I noticed that the child was met by a woman, with a second person standing nearby, who might have been male. I thought the woman could have been his mother at first, but then the idea of older sister came to mind, and after that I noticed a second woman standing slightly apart from them, and now thought that this might have been the mother though I didn't get a clear impression.
Though I was automatically just continuing to look at the people in front of me, when Bruce said to go with the helper when he backed off, that also seemed appropriate - after all it wasnft _my_ reunion...
As we left I asked the helper: How can I improve my perception? Non-verbal reply: Do more energy-raising work like NEW, and some physical exercise might not hurt... Also got an echo of the message on Brucefs forum that I left just today (Jan 15 on the forum) concerning confidence: Just keep doing it, and let the accumulating experience erode away my doubt. Ifd intended the advice for the person who posted the message about doubt, but my own answer was applicable to me just a few hours later. (:
Perception: The lack of immediate perception of a helper this time was unnerving, compared to how easy it'd been during my first exercise last week. The fact that I hadn't been doing any energy gathering/NEW beforehand may have been a contributing factor - my energy level today was pretty generic, rather than the slightly ramped-up level Ifd been at last time. It'll be interesting to see what factors contribute to clearer perception.
From around the time that the helper showed himself in the guise of the worker, my perception had improved (or perhaps my improving perception allowed me to see the helper who'd been there all along!) to the point that I wasnft worrying about it anymore, and just going with the flow. I wasn't doing this at first, since itfs tough to go with the flow when there's initially no flow to go with... (:
For the record I'd describe my perception as "not quite visual," though that's admittedly not much of an explanation. Every so often in my life I've had stunningly clear visual images appear unbidden in my mind's eye (though without any particularly deep content... A cute "eyeball critter" once, and assorted generic architecture...), but this was _not_ that. Nor was it my everyday vague-to-middling visualization. It was somewhere in between, or maybe slightly "off to the side" away from visual perception. I'll have to get more experience before I can really describe it well (if then). I'd say the idea of what it'd feel like to be using a rarely-used but not-quite-unfamiliar sense seems to fit. As I said, "Not quite visual." Hmm.
Emotional: The clear reaction of the child to the helper helped me to feel that I was actually doing something to...well, er, help. Up until that point there hadn't been any particular emotion to the scene (or my previous retrieval) at all, or at least I'd been unable to perceive any. This time I was at first preoccupied with the fact that I wasn't perceiving anything, then I drifted towards just focusing on what I did begin to perceive.
Data: Two things changed during the process. First, the date dropped thirty years, then the manner of death switched drastically. The appearance of the helper-as-workman was a closer match to the earlier date, for what that's worth. As for the manner of death, it's easy to speculate about the kid not comprehending what had happened, or perhaps building a more comfortable memory in the intervening time, but I honestly got nothing but those two data points -- anything I say connecting the two would be just my creation.
For what it's worth, there you have my second retrieval! (:
Pres in Japan