A healing through the workshop tapes

Posted by Rebecca on March 13, 2002 at 19:38:59:

Hi all! I've been away dealing with that wicked flu. Boy, that wasn't a fun place! lol

I see several newbies. Welcome to the board. You've come to a wonderful place with some very unique and wonderful people. I'm one of them! LOL Sorry, I guess I'm delirious from the last bit of the flu. I'll stick with that story anyway. *S*

First I want to share what transpired when I finally decided to order a set of workshop tapes. Ginny had suggested a certain set where she had been an actual participant at the workshop. I came to the site, and discovered that they were not listed as available. So, I was a bit bummed, but I decided on another set, and submitted my order. The next day I received an e-mail from Bruce saying, I received your order, and the workshop you ordered has a glitch in the tapes, would you be interested in another set. Guess which set he suggested...yep, the workshop that Ginny attended! Blew me away! LOL

Well, received my tapes, and was following along doing each exercise as they did at the workshop. For anyone who has never ordered workshop tapes, or even better had an opportunity to attend workshops with Bruce, I highly recommend them. You will find a new sense of yourself that you have never been open to seeing before, and it will give you such freedom! You don't have to believe me, but I know that it is true.

I have to say, outside of the afterlife exploring, retrieving, and all of that, what I have gleaned through reading Bruce's books, being at this board, and now listening to and experiencing these workshop tapes, what it has all done for me is, it has given me a new sense of myself, and that sense is of a self that is ever changing, ever evolving, or is it a self that has always been and I have not been open to seeing it as such. But as a friend of mine always said to me, "I know that I know, that I know, that I know" that, this has made a change in my life.

Now to share about the the healing experience. I joined in on the exercise from the workshop tapes of gathering love energy (PUL) to yourself, gathering to the chest area and allowing it to build up. I was going to share what this exercise was, but I don't think I will. You'll have to find that out for yourself through the books or workshop tapes or attendance.

I'm going to insert some background here. Just a short history about my ex and me. He was a drinker, we both were, and I just decided to stop. We were in our early twenties. But, he continued, and we grew apart because of it. I was very deeply in love with him, at least with the person I knew he was without the overwhelming influence of alcohol, and I did know him in this way also, and I just couldn't tolerate the lifestyle any longer, and still continue to love him. So, I left him, still being very much in love with him, but knowing I couldn't stay. And over all the years (over 20), that's been where I have been with that...stuck in an area of always loving him, a heart broken but never healing.

There was a time shortly after the break-up that we talked about getting back together, although in my heart I knew that that would be wrong for me. But, we did plan, we did hope, although, I have to say, I think we both knew there would be no recapturing of what was lost. And this was where it was left for us. No solution, no resolve, only open gaping wounds never to be healed. (LOL...OK I'm one the molo-dramatic ones of the group for you newbies)

I would dream about him, always the same dream, same scenario different day. We were going to get back together happily, and then it fell apart. Every dream with the same outcome. I was torturing myself with these dreams. Then one day, another dream different from the rest, one where we both sat down and listened to each other, really listened, shared each others heartache over all of this, validated it, actually validated it! We shared how we lived just as shells for so long scared of relationships, scaring partners away, not daring to commit, not daring to give of ourselves. That dream was my final dream that I have ever had of my ex-husband. And I accepted that felt as though I had received a true healing through that dream. But, it's funny, I dared not to think about any of that history, I dared not to test whether there was still some brokeness over all of that.

Fast-forward to the workshop tapes.

Here I am drawing this energy, this love energy into my body drawing that love energy from memory, and allowing it to build actually in the chest area with spill-over just in huggable range of my arms, as though I could reach out and embrace it, encircle it with my arms. For me it was a soft cloud-like energy, that had a soft glow to it, more a tannish color than a yellow or gold. With each inhale of the energy, drawing it into me, becoming a part of me, and placing it in the chest area it was such a pure energy of total acceptance, total tolerance, total love. It's so hard to explain, and yet what seemed to be so complex, or what my interpreter perhaps would see as so complex, it was such a simple energy.

I wanted to stay in it for hours, days. But also in being in it, I knew that it would always be there, would always be available to me. Here I am in the middle of this love-fest with this energy, and suddenly I find myself sitting with my ex-husband. Which really threw me off, cause I'm thinking, "wait a minute...I was enjoying that!!" lol Don't do this to me now!!

Well, here we are sitting there. And the scenario is that final rejection, that point in time in which he (because he had more guts than me and probably was more based in reality over the whole thing) said, this isn't going to work. We're not going to work. We will never be together.

That was it, and then I'm back experiencing this love-fest once again. And my reaction was OKKKKKK...I"m back. Back to the love-fest, I'm enjoying this soooo much. LOL And suddenly I realize, that scnario did NOT affect me in the least, that scenario and all that had gone before, of which in my lifetime I have been painfully aware of, it has lived with me forever...IT DID NOT AFFECT ME IN THE LEAST!!!! WHOOOO HOOOO!!

People, if you have never experienced a workshop, or a workshop tape, please, do it for yourself, do it to recapture who you are. You will never one minute regret it. I guarantee that.

Much love,