Copyright Bruce A. Moen. All rights reserved.
Explortion 27: Pure Unconditional Love at TMI There
Having just completed The Monroe Institute's Exploration 27 program in February, '96, I'm excited to be able to share some of the experience. If you've been thinking about attending I'd recommend you call the registrar, Helen Warring, today and sign up for the earliest one you can get to. It's changed my life completely in ways I could never have predicted. There is so much more to tell than what you're about to read. It would take weeks to write it all.
Our group moved through a beautifully guided exploration of Focus 27, gathering detailed information about areas I didn't consciously know existed. I was shocked at times when tour guides I encountered in 27 recognized me. Like when I asked a tour guide in the Education Center for a recommendation on something interesting to explore. He looked at me and said, "Well, most times when I've seen you here you're heading for the "Hall of Bright Ideas." I had no conscious memory of ever being in any such place, and yet as an engineer, after exploring there it made perfect sense I'd be a regular visitor.
We also explored a new area labeled Focus 34/35, the area Bob Monroe referred to as the "Gathering" in his book Far Journeys. Here participants contacted and communicated with intelligences who are gathered to witness and record what people have come to call "Earth Changes." Here I communicated with one group who took me for a trip to their home world. Taking me there we traveled a distance measured in thousands of light years. We stopped as I was shown their home world and then we returned. This all took place in perhaps one or two seconds of our time. But these stories and many others will have to wait so I can tell you what happened at the very beginning of the program.
First let me tell you the story of a little boy living in Spenard, Alaska in the summer of 1954. It might help you understand the magnitude of the healing that came to me during Exploration 27.
Walking along a lonely dirt road, on a cool, sunny day, a six year old boy is troubled. Powerful, awful feelings enter the center of his chest, blasting through his body. They're a confusing, dyslexic jumble of joy, rage, pain, love, anger, shame, and disgust. Some feelings are so blissful, his little heart floats through the air, above the road, not a care in the world. Others slam him down hard, face first, dirt and gravel tearing the flesh from his soul. As he walks, looking down, only he can feel and see the tube, extending outward from the center of his chest. He knows it connects him to every other Being in his small world. They send joy, love, pain, anger and rage through the tube and into his heart. There they clash in an unrelenting, chaotic assault he's powerless to utilize, understand or absorb. The joy and love are so wonderful, the rage and anger hurt so deeply, they're more than he can bear. He knows the confusion and pain coming into his little heart must stop if he's to survive. The love and joy, he decides, are not worth the pain. Nothing he has tried can make any sense of this mad jumble.
In the next moment, looking down, watching the dirt road go by his feet, he knows what he must do to stop the pain. In one swift movement he reaches out with invisible little hands only he can see. Reaching out as far as he can, he grabs the tube in his right hand and squeezes hard to stop the Flow of feelings. His left hand holds momma's scissors and with a silent snip, severing his heart connection to the world, the pain is gone. From that day forward, love, joy pain and misery all felt the same.
Moving the clock forward to February 17, 1996, that same little boy is living in the body of the forty-seven year old man I've become. It's after dark, a cool and rainy Saturday evening, as I step outside The Nancy Penn Center to smoke a cigarette. I am thinking about tomorrow morning when the program I came to participate in, Exploration 27, begins. Through previous Lifeline programs and with the help of others I've developed the skill to communicate with those no longer living in physical bodies. Standing there, inhaling smoke from a hand-rolled Three Castles, I become aware of a familiar voice. It's Bob Monroe. Bob died almost a year ago and now he arrives with Dr. Ed Wilson, another friend who died during my third Lifeline program in November of '94. They've both come to express their thanks.
"Bruce, Ed and I are really glad you came here for this program," I felt Bob say. "We both feel your abilities and energies will be very beneficial to the group. We both just wanted to express our appreciation to you for being a part of Exploration 27. We're so happy you decided to join in. But I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you. You see, Bruce, nothing much is going to happen for you in this program."
"I see, Bob," I felt myself say to him, a tinge of anger welling up inside me. I had hope for spectacular images, while exploring Focus 27 in detail. That nothing would happen made me mad. "So what's in it for me?"
"Well, all I can tell you is, what's in it for you comes later," I felt Bob reply.
And then Bob and Ed just turned their backs and were gone. At that point I am beginning to feel pissed. "Yeah, right, maybe two weeks or a month after I get back home to Denver. Right, check's in the mail." I indulge myself in a little more anger for a minute or so and then decide maybe it would be all right. After all, so many people have helped me along the way; maybe it's time I gave something back. "Okay," I thought to myself, "I'm here anyway, might as well make the best of it. If I'm just here to assist I guess I can do that." Looking back, what Bob and Ed did was the perfect way to relieve any performance anxiety I might have felt during the program. After all, nothing much was going to happen until later. I wasn't driving; just along for the ride.
During the first day and a half of the program Bob and Ed were right. Nothing much happened. Through all the reset tapes, revisiting Focus 10 through 27, I was awake and alert and couldn't seem to focus in on anything in particular. Little snatches of images floated by, but nothing I could get a handle on or any information from. There were two or three groups of four people, looking at me closely during one tape, but otherwise not much was happening. My sense of frustration at this built up with every reset tape. Then we began the first tape specifically produced for the Exploration 27 program.
Our task was to first go to our own place in 27 and wait until Dar's voice told us to go to The Monroe Institute in Focus 27 (or as we came to call it, MIT, for "Monroe Institute There"). Once there we were to meet at a crystal described by the trainers prior to the exercise. After meeting at the crystal we were to go to The Reception Center in 27 and observe whatever we could find. Then back to MIT, to meet again at the crystal and then to return to C-1 in our CHEC units. Sounded simple enough; a well-guided tape with Dar Miller's voice leading the way.
After resonant tuning and the Exploration 27 affirmation, the tape sounds began the move through each Focus level to Focus 27. I decided not to wait around for the tape sounds to take me there and instead went directly to my place in 27. I was surprised to see a mountain lake there and was reminded by someone waiting for me that I had put it there. The memory came back to me. I had put it there long ago and wondered if it was what I really wanted. Then at the prompting of Dar's voice I took off to find TMI There and look for the crystal. Coming in from the East, flying about 50 feet above the ground, I caught just a brief glimpse of the Northeast corner of the roof. Almost overshooting the building I had to make a hard U-turn to line up to enter it. Not bothering with doors, I came in through the roof and headed straight for the room with the crystal.
While the trainers had suggested the crystal would be found in the dining room, I didn't bother to look around to verify that. Instead I opened up my intent to locate the crystal. An impression of the crystal formed almost immediately. At first it looked like a close-packed bundle of clear, transparent rods. The rods were of varying lengths, longer ones toward the center of the bundle, shorter toward the outside. It was floating in front of me and I could see all of it. The crystal changed shape several times, at one point taking on the shape of a very large, faceted, double-terminated quartz crystal. As the quartz, shape it took on a dull, lightly fogged appearance. While I was looking the crystal over carefully other group members began to arrive and I became aware of Bob and Ed standing off to my right.
Bob motioned me over so I walked over and joined them. Bob leaned over, close to my face, and with that devilish grin of his said, "Bruce, remember the first night you were here for this program and I talked to you while you were smoking a cigarette? I told you not much would happen for you in the program until later? And that Ed and I were glad you came, and that we felt we needed your energy for the other participants?"
"Yes, I remember."
"I remember, Bruce," Bob went on, "you asked, 'What's in it for me?'"
"Yes, I remember. In fact I'm feeling a little embarrassed about the anger in my reply. I thought I'd have to wait for a couple of weeks at home for anything to happen and I wasn't too happy about that."
"Well, Bruce," Bob said, "Now is later." He had that devilish little grin of his again, a smile and wink.
Not knowing exactly what Bob meant by, "Now is later," I turned my attention back to the crystal. I watched as the last few members of the group joined together around it. I could see a field of fine lines and dim color had formed around the crystal. It looked like the field of a bar magnet with poles on opposite ends. It looked a little like my version a of ReBal. The field lines extended straight out from both ends then bent and curved around toward the other end. The field was shaped like lines of metal filings on paper over a bar magnet. The fields' gentle arcs surrounded the crystal in a soft, dim glow.
I watched, bilocated, from thirty feet away as I joined in while all twenty-one members of the group formed a circle around the crystal. We were standing a shoulders' width apart, about four feet from the crystals' surface, immersed in its field. We all joined hands and stood silently motionless for a moment. Then, as if on cue, we all stepped forward in unison, each with a right foot toward the crystal. Simultaneously, in unison, we bent forward at our waists, pointing our joined hands downward toward the base of the crystal. Then, raising our hands toward the top of the crystal as we stepped back, each with our right foot, and we made a sound. It sounded like "WOOOOO-AHHHHHHHH" starting at a low frequency when our hands were still pointing downward. As we raised our hands and stepped back, the frequency increased to a higher pitch. It was a smooth, joyous sound. Our hands, still clasped, continued moving with the sound, up over our heads and behind us, our backs arching outward from the center of the circle. Our hands stopped, extended as fully outward as possible, at the highest pitch of the sound. From my elevated, bilocated vantage point, our hand movements made the entire scene look like the opening of a huge lotus blossom. There was incredible joy in the sound we were making. There was an instant explosion of color from the crystal which spread to its surrounding field. Beautiful vibrant yellows, oranges, reds, pinks and whites with cascades of sparks scattered upward into the air and showered down upon all of us. We repeated the movement and the sound. Suddenly the crystal came alive with color in silent explosions of tremendous power. With each repetition of the groups' sound and movement, the crystal gained more power until it felt like gigawatts of energy were flowing upward through the crystal just an arm's reach away from each of us. We continued until an ecstatic flow of energy filled the air around us, energizing each of us with its power. It is difficult to put into words the beauty, joy and power we experienced in our movement and sound.
As we finished this group experience, Dar's voice on the tape requested we go to explore the Reception Center in Focus 27, and I placed my intent on doing so. In a moment, approaching from very high above the rolling, green grass carpet below, I saw a structure with two, very large bell shapes, joined at their small ends, to a vertical pole structure. Looking closely at the open ends of the bell shapes, I could see the flow of something entering one and exiting the other. It looked like a flow of small particles, millions of them flowing into the bell shape on the left, through the center constriction, and out the bell shape on the right. Taking this to represent the Reception Center, I pulled a hard left, descending turn and landed near it on the ground. To my left were vast, open grassy fields with hundreds of people walking generally in my direction. To my right I could see a huge structure that looked something like the opening to a stadium. Large columns supported a horizontal structure on top, the whole thing extending off into the distance in front of me as far as I could see. I watched as people approached this entrance to the Reception Center, some walking confidently, some dazed. One person was in a hospital bed, being pushed by two men who looked like hospital orderlies or paramedics. I could see an I.V. bottle dangling from a pole attached to the bed; the person in the bed bandaged and motionless. Some people were alone, others with a friend or relatives, casually walked toward the entrance. Everyone was met and greeted by Reception Center staff. Sometimes the relatives or friends would accompany their loved ones through the entrance, lending support and comfort as they began the intake process.
On the tape Dar's voice suggested we request to follow someone to learn more of the details of the intake process. Looking around I noticed a priest standing nearby, who was about to meet an elderly woman arriving alone. I interrupted him to ask if I could follow along and watch the process. As he turned to answer me I could feel his mild irritation at my intrusion, but he agreed with the admonition, "You may watch as long as you don't try to interact." That agreed, I turned my attention to the approaching woman. She was very frightened, not knowing what to expect. She was worried maybe she had sinned too much and this wasn't Heaven she was entering. As she approached the priest her voice sounded a little hysterical, babbling on about sins, Heaven and Hell. The priest approached her, greeting her in fine priestly fashion, assuring her several times all her sins had been forgiven and this was not Hell. The woman took quite a bit of reassurance before she calmed down enough to speak with him. His priest outfit served him well as it was just what this woman needed to be assured she was all right After she had calmed down a little he bent forward, toward her, placing his hands on her shoulders, giving her the "no part of my body will touch you save my hands" kind of priestly hug. Then he stepped beside her, turned to face the Reception Center entrance and they began walking together. After a short distance we came to an outdoor cafe with tables, chairs and umbrellas set up on the grass. The priest escorted the now calmer woman to a table and we all sat down. Suggesting she might be hungry after her ordeal, he ordered some food for both of them and a glass of wine for himself. The wine was a nice touch; a sense of relief swept through the woman as the priest lifted the glass to his lips. Evidently she had felt one of her greatest sins was connected with drinking alcohol. I could feel her thinking, "If I'm in Heaven and this priest is drinking wine, then my sins must truly be forgiven." As they ate and talked the priest began to do the intake interview. By asking questions and listening attentively to her answers, the woman began to calm down even more and to relax into the reality of Focus 27.
At this point Dar's voice on the tape suggested it was time we all return to the crystal at TMI There. I thanked the priest and was about to leave when he gave me a very serious look and said, "Please don't just disappear in front of this lady. It might frighten her."
"Okay," I said, and started walking away, looking for a place where I could safely disappear without scaring anyone. I realized I was walking into an oncoming crowd of hundreds of people. They were everywhere I looked. Every place I stopped to disappear and leave, there were too many new arrivals walking past me. Becoming concerned about how I was going to manage my disappearance without frightening folks, I stopped walking and began looking around for a way out. About ten feet away, off to my left I saw a dark wooden door with a sign above it that read, "Disappearing Room." Silently thanking whoever it was who had thought this one up, I walked over, turned the knob and opened the door. Stepping into the small room behind the door I closed it, then disappeared and left for The Monroe Institute There, intending to be at the crystal.
I was a little late to arrive. Most of the group had already gathered around the crystal. We all joined hands again and continued our "WOOOOO-AHHHHHHHH" lotus flower wave, adding bursts of energy to ourselves and the crystal until Dar's voice asked us to return to C-1. We released each others' hands and I stepped back, turning to leave. As I did I saw one of the four women in our group walking toward me on her way out of the building. She diverted her path as she approached me, stopping directly in front of me. She smiled into my very being, then stepped forward, arms extended for a hug. As we hugged briefly I felt something in the center of my chest open with a POP. We moved apart, smiled warmly at each other, and then she stepped past me to continue on her way to C-1 in her CHEC unit.
As I turned to leave I noticed Bob and Ed standing close together to my right, about twenty feet away. Bob was motioning "come over here" with his hand. Both of them were smiling at me. Then I saw Rebecca step into view to their right, beaming happiness and delight with her smile. My heart leapt at seeing her for the first time in seven months. I moved toward the three of them and we came together in what you might call a group hug, but it didn't feel like a physical world hug. It was more like we merged together a little at our edges with a sense of joining. What happened from this point on cannot be described in words with any hope of adequately conveying the experience to you. I'll do the best I can, but I understand there is little hope of expressing what is ineffable.
A moment after we joined together I felt what I can only describe as a lightening bolt of pure Love energy slamming into the center of my chest and charging my body, filling it with Love.
I say a lightening bolt to give you a sense of its brilliant, sudden, jolting, explosive, tremendously powerful quality. I'm certain if I ever have the misfortune to be struck in the center of my physical chest by real, physical lightening (and remain conscious throughout the experience), I would be able to say, "Yes, the lightening bolt of pure Love energy had that same explosive power."
I say pure Love energy because it felt like what I would have previously described as love energy but without my usual sexual overtones. This had nothing else in it except the pure energy of Love. Yet, if I tried to describe how it felt, the only thing in my previous experience which comes close to the actual feeling has a sexual nature. At the very peak instant of orgasm, during the most mutually satisfying sex you can imagine, the quality of that feeling is very close to the pure Love energy I experienced. This joining had absolutely no sexual quality to it. I only use the example above to give a hint at what it felt like. So imagine the intensity of a lightening bolt strike to the center of your chest, combined with the peak instant of the most powerful orgasm you can remember. Even if you could imagine the feeling of that image, it would still fall far short of describing my experience to you as we first joined together.
I say charging my body because I could feel all of the energy of the pure Love lightening bolt enter and fill my body. In electrical terms it raised my stored potential, charged my battery, transferred electrical charge from somewhere else into me. I felt fuller, bigger, stronger, blissful, joyful, ecstatic. . . . . words fail me.
Just as I began to relax from the jolt of the first lightening bolt of Pure Love Energy, as I was about to tell Rebecca, Bob and Ed what had just happened, I was struck again. This time the intensity of the jolt was about the same, but the duration was longer, probably double the first one. It felt sooooo gooooood! ! ! ! A smile formed over the face of my entire being. The Love energy charge in my body felt twice as powerful as after the first bolt. My head fell back, open-jawed, in joy. I turned my eyes toward Rebecca, looking into her loving face, trying to express to her what I was experiencing. Then the next jolt came, same strength, even longer duration, twice as long as the last one. My level of charge and joy were already way beyond anything I've ever experienced in my forty-seven years on this planet.
There were at least four or five more jolts, each doubling in duration and body charge level. Then the feeling became a steady, earth-shattering stream of pure Love entering my body through the center of my chest. The intensity built up so rapidly, doubling my charge level with every beat of my heart, that I began to wonder if my body could stand any more. The steady, charging beam went on and on and on. From any one heart beat to the next, the level of charge throughout my being felt so strong I thought I was going to explode. If I thought I could not take one more heart beat of build up, I had no idea what was in store for me.
While the steady beam continued its high-rate charging, I suddenly became aware of Nancy Monroe's presence behind me. She was moving toward me, arms extended, smiling, more cloud-like than solid. She stopped, close behind me, and began to express her gratitude for my attempt at relaying a message from her to Bob while he was still living in a physical body.
"Remember, Bruce? You were standing in the bathroom. I excused myself for intruding and told you I'd avert my eyes until you were finished," I felt her say as she stood behind me.
"Yes, Nancy, I remember. Bob was pretty skeptical with me as the messenger," I replied.
"I asked you to 'Tell Bob I still loved him so very much; tell him I'd be waiting for him; tell him I'd be there to meet him when he leaves his body for the last time'," I felt her say.
"Yes, I remember. It was hard for him to believe."
"I'd like to express my gratitude to you, Bruce, for delivering that message."
In just expressing her gratitude the total level of charge in my being, stored since the experience began with the first jolt, doubled. It felt so overpoweringly, intensely joyous it was painful. I felt my body, back in the CHEC unit, suck in a reflexive, long deep breath as if it were attempting to remain conscious. The cloud of light that was Nancy then surrounded and permeated the four of us. The beam entering my chest had been about the size of a plum just before I felt Nancy approach from behind. Now its diameter increased until it wasn't a single beam any more. Instead the beam was replaced by the sensation of being immersed in hundreds of beams, coming into me from every conceivable direction. They covered every square inch of my being, pouring energy into me at a rate ten times faster then before. I have no concepts to describe the intensity of what happened next. My poor attempt with words would be to say that with each beat of my heart Nancy multiplied my total stored Love energy potential by a factor of ten. Engineers. I am one and I used to think numbers and words could explain anything. I truly wish I could connect you to this experience through my numbers and words.
I have no way of knowing how long Nancy kept this up. I know somewhere in the middle of it I was absolutely certain that at the very next beat of my heart my physical body would explode. I knew I'd burst into flames, setting my CHEC unit on fire and burning down the entire southeast corner of the Nancy Penn Monroe Center. But I didn't burst into flames, and she continued to pump energy into me until there was such an intense mixture of ecstatic joy and pain that I gave up all resistance. My heart was filled with the energy of a thousand suns. A short while (?) later, I felt the cloud that was Nancy begin to withdraw. The intensity of the Love I was feeling dropped to about half of where she'd left off. I floated back a little from Rebecca, Bob and Ed. I could see them all smiling at me.
Bob moved over close to me and looking directly into my eyes said, "Bruce, remember how in all your previous tape experiences during a program, I told you to leave the emotional energy behind?"
"Yes, Bob, I remember your voice saying that on all the Lifeline program tapes," I replied.
Still looking directly into my eyes he said with a wink, "Bruce . . . . you can take this One with you."
I suddenly remembered Dar had asked us to return to C-1 an eon or two ago. I stopped to listen to the tape to see if it was still running. It was. Then like a feather the size of the Goodyear blimp I rolled over on my back and began to float slowly downward. With no thought or concern about arriving on time I floated, basking in the glow of pure Love which filled my Being. As I floated gently down from 27 the intensity of the feeling diminished slightly.
When I reentered my physical body it was convulsing with joy; shuddering in ecstatic spasms of joy. Tears ran so freely they were dripping from my hair and face in a steady stream onto the pillow below my head. Gradually the shuddering calmed down to shaking, sobbing, tears of joy. I must have laid there, in my CHEC unit, for two or three minutes absorbing every last drop of Love and joy I could feel. Then I got up, moved to the desk in my room, and tried to fill out the information sheet for this, the first Exploration 27 tape experience. All I could manage to write at first was, "A reunion with Rebecca, Bob, Ed and Nancy. LOVE EMOTIONALLY OVERPOWERING."
There is more, much more to tell you about my experience in The Monroe Institute's Exploration 27 program. That will have to wait until there is more time to write. Perhaps by that time some of you will have attended it yourselves. But before I finish for now, I want you to know that little six year old boy's heart is connected to the universe again. And so am I. And, I want you all to know, as far as Exploration 27 goes, what I've just described was only the beginning.
Conversation Board \
Frequently Asked Questions \
Return to the list of Articles